Friday, June 18, 2010

Triathlon Gee


I have no idea what's going on - Flying back from Vancouver 2 days ago I got selected for a full bag search and body scan. Tonight I got hassled by the police at 7-11.

I was staring into the fridge, in a bit of a daze, trying to find something to drink that wasn't soda or some other assorted sugary garbage. This is actually hard because there are so many choices but so few options. I must have been standing there for awhile. Suddenly, there's a uniform next to me. He starts in with the "How are you doing tonight?", "Do you live around here?", and "Have you been drinking this evening?" stuff. That last question really pissed me off and I must have been staring at him like he was from another planet because suddenly he's leading me outside to talk.

Luckily the 7-11 guy intervened at this point. We know each other - I buy a ridiculous amount of coffee from this guy, so I pretty much have free reign to "chill" in the store whenever I feel like it.

7-11 guy coming to my aid was enough for the officer to slow his roll on me. I got to go back and stare at the drinks. And now that the officer and I are having an adult conversation it comes out he came in to use the bathroom and saw me standing in front of the refrigerator like a complete idiot. Fair enough, I've got no argument there. Then he said that the combination of the shaved head, white t-shirt, Vans slip-ons and (this is the best part) knee-high black socks (a/k/a 2XU recovery socks) made him even more suspicious. This is where I call bullsh*t. Everybody knows that gangsters don't wear Nike dri-fit shorts.

Unbelievable. Tomorrow I'm going to get "triathlon" tattooed over my stomach.

17 comments:

Barbie said...

Your a popular young chap it seems. You poor thing.

Tri-James said...

Sir – Please step away from the refreshing beverages.

Karen said...

Hilarious.... EVERYONE knows recovery socks are gangsta. maybe he recognized the signs of GU addiction and was going to stage an intervention.

KovasP said...

Oh man, Patrick the tri-gangsta, too funny. Actually,it does sound like a cholo outfit. "All I wanted was a Pepsi." Institutionalized, dude.

Kathleen said...

Geeze, you can't even buy a soft drink anymore without getting hassled for something!

Jennifer said...

Yes I agree, Tri-Gangsta has got to be the name of your new team! I'm on it! Just remind me to bring my Glock along I am sure I can make a special neoprene holster for it.

Unknown said...

Dude is that a pic of your gun and your compression socks because if so neither of them is a shocking as the amount of hair on the legs ... you need some manscaping my friend!

Also, you are lucky you didn't grab one of the RockStar Energy Drinks or a Red bull ... he would have tased you on the spot!

Pete32 said...

Never met you in person, but I may be able to spot you by looking for a suspicious man who looks a little dangerous.

Evolving Through Running said...

I think we all know that recovery socks are just a gateway-drug to heavier, more dangerous compression gear. He was just trying to stage a small-scale intervention.

Chris K said...

You tri guys are bad a#@ I hope when I meet you it's not in a dark alley.

ajh said...

Too funny about the suspicious socks!

Glenn Jones said...

Good thing your complexion was the right, ahem, color....

Aimee said...

Wow...good think the 7-11 clerk came to your aid! Ha ha! That's just crazy!

Matty O said...

HAHAHAHAHA, Patrick the tri-gangsta.

Word.

So does that count as racial profiling?!

Big Daddy Diesel said...

well, you are wearing fri tech and compression socks with hairy legs, thats a little suspicous.

valen said...

I'm still laughing... watch your socks!

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