I'm not sure that many of you know this yet, but Kovas Palubinskas over at Midwest MultiSport Life is about to launch a new performance drink called K-Venom.
K-Venom is the only performance drink on the market that is made with a proprietary blend of Kovas's own sweat and genuine Gaboon Viper venom. K-Venom contains no artificial flavors or colors. Best of all, K-Venom has no high fructose corn syrup and only 25 calories per 8 ounces.
A few days ago when I asked Kovas what set K-Venom apart from the other performance drinks on the market, the usual jovial Kovas suddenly became oddly cold and distant. "5 Words." He said. "My sweat. And Viper venom."
I got to try it out today. K-Venom's self described "intake parameters" are simple - 1. Slam 16 ounces of K-Venom. 2. Hold on for the ride of your life.
I slammed 16 ounces of a yet to be named lemon/lime flavor. It was entirely drinkable, but had a little bit of an odd aftertaste. I'm guessing that was the Viper venom.
After I burped, I set out on an 8 mile run. For the first 10 minutes, I felt unusually good. But I wasn't sure if this was the K-Venom or that I was just fresh since I hadn't run in a few days. However, by mile two I started to feel a warm tingle from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. The tingle continued to intensify for the next two miles. I usually don't like "rushy" type drinks, but K-Venom was different. It wasn't a "jittery" tingle. The only way I can think to describe the feeling is by saying I felt extremely strong, extremely confident and unstoppable.
By the time I got to the turn-around point at mile 4, the K-Venom had completely kicked in. I don't remember much about the last 4 miles, but according to my Garmin I ran those 4 miles in under 16 minutes. That's pretty fast for me, so I was pretty pleased with the time. Also, the police where just here looking for a guy in a black tech tee and CEP compression socks. This guy apparently had destroyed three lifeguard towers while running at a blistering pace down the middle of the beach. I told them it wasn't me. Like I said, I don't remember much about the second half of the run, but I do know I suck at running in the sand.
Other than some unexplained gashes on my shins, I didn't feel any side effects after finishing the run.
K-Venom will not officially be available until 2011. That said, it's already been banned in 30 states, so it might be a little hard to come by at your local multi-sport store. But Kovas has been awesome enough to give me the opportunity to give one lucky blog reader a LIFETIME SUPPLY of this extremely potent drink. To enter, all you need to do is:
1) Follow my blog (mandatory).
2) Follow me on Twitter @17281posse (mandatory).
3) Follow Kovas here. (mandatory)
4) Leave a comment on this post as to why you feel K-Venom will improve your performance (mandatory).
5) Send me a short video of you pretending to be a Viper (mandatory).
Good luck. But then again, be careful what you wish for.