Tuesday, October 12, 2010

K-Venom Giveaway

I'm not sure that many of you know this yet, but Kovas Palubinskas over at Midwest MultiSport Life is about to launch a new performance drink called K-Venom.

K-Venom is the only performance drink on the market that is made with a proprietary blend of Kovas's own sweat and genuine Gaboon Viper venom.  K-Venom contains no artificial flavors or colors.  Best of all, K-Venom has no high fructose corn syrup and only 25 calories per 8 ounces.

A few days ago when I asked Kovas what set K-Venom apart from the other performance drinks on the market, the usual jovial Kovas suddenly became oddly cold and distant.  "5 Words." He said.  "My sweat.  And Viper venom."


I got to try it out today.  K-Venom's self described "intake parameters" are simple - 1.  Slam 16 ounces of K-Venom.  2.  Hold on for the ride of your life.

I slammed 16 ounces of a yet to be named lemon/lime flavor.   It was entirely drinkable, but had a little bit of an odd aftertaste.  I'm guessing that was the Viper venom.

After I burped, I set out on an 8 mile run.  For the first 10 minutes, I felt unusually good.  But I wasn't sure if this was the K-Venom or that I was just fresh since I hadn't run in a few days.  However, by mile two I started to feel a warm tingle from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet.  The tingle continued to intensify for the next two miles.  I usually don't like "rushy" type drinks, but K-Venom was different.  It wasn't a "jittery" tingle.  The only way I can think to describe the feeling is by saying I felt extremely strong, extremely confident and unstoppable.

By the time I got to the turn-around point at mile 4, the K-Venom had completely kicked in.  I don't remember much about the last 4 miles, but according to my Garmin I ran those 4 miles in under 16 minutes.  That's pretty fast for me, so I was pretty pleased with the time.  Also, the police where just here looking for a guy in a black tech tee and CEP compression socks.  This guy apparently had destroyed three lifeguard towers while running at a blistering pace down the middle of the beach.  I told them it wasn't me.  Like I said, I don't remember much about the second half of the run, but I do know I suck at running in the sand.

Other than some unexplained gashes on my shins, I didn't feel any side effects after finishing the run.

K-Venom will not officially be available until 2011.  That said, it's already been banned in 30 states, so it might be a little hard to come by at your local multi-sport store.  But Kovas has been awesome enough to give me the opportunity to give one lucky blog reader a LIFETIME SUPPLY of this extremely potent drink.  To enter, all you need to do is:

1)  Follow my blog (mandatory).
2)  Follow me on Twitter @17281posse (mandatory).
3)  Follow Kovas here. (mandatory)
4)  Leave a comment on this post as to why you feel K-Venom will improve your performance (mandatory).
5)  Send me a short video of you pretending to be a Viper (mandatory).

Good luck.  But then again, be careful what you wish for.

11 comments:

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Thanks for the shout-out Patrick. K-Venom is the absolute real deal. Jeff worked tirelessly for months with leading endurance scientists in the secret nutrition lab to come up with the magic formula. While not available until 2011, most readers already know about the awesome results our athletes Rinny and Macca had this past weekend. As you found out, the results speak for themselves.

(*Not for sale in stores, product may be different than that pictured, illegal in all 50 states and Canada, no animals have been harmed)

ajh said...

I'm a follower.

RockStarTri said...

I've already seen it for sale in China but think that the recipe isn't the same.

Quinton J said...

There is already a 'black market' for this stuff in Canada. Gallons have already been sold on consignment. I get those tingles just thinking about the stuff.

Also, can you please tell us about some of the topical applications of said K-Venom?

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

And you thought all my snake stories were a coincidence? Where do ya think all the venom came from?

Also, this stuff might be banned in all states but it is coming across the boarder. If you want some I know a guy *wink, wink* who can get it. Keep that on the down low.

Laurie said...

Good stuff...

lindsay said...

Dang Kovas - keeping secrets from me. I am going to unfollow him now! How dare he not share his magical sweat with all of us.

Does it come in a Berry flavor? I will re-follow if so.

JenniferLeah said...

...but I don't like lemon/lime-ish flavor. Can Kovas work on Pina Colada or something tropical??
or pizza flavor??

Luke said...

can it be mixed with vodka to become a Kovas bomb or venom bomb?

Jennifer said...

I'm with Jennifer on the pizza flavor, while your at it, Mexican Taco would be a nice addition.

Forward Foot Strides said...

I'm pretty sure I'm going to make "send a video of yourself pretending to a viper" an entry option for all future giveaways.

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