In the year 353 BC, Triopolis, the now forgotten Greek god of multi-sport, had a problem. It's not that he was struggling with training, in fact it was the exact opposite. His swims across the Aegean Sea where fast. He had never felt stronger while cycling through Aeolia. Most remarkably, the brute strength he possessed while doing hill repeats on Mount Olympus where to become the stuff of myth.
Rather, Triopolis's problem was excessive discomfort in his nether region. You see, it was the hottest Hekatombaion period in ages. And with heat came sweat, and with sweat came chaffing. Triopolis's next "A" race was less than two noumenia away - The Macedonia Invatational Long Course. Triopolis needed to be able to focus less on his comfort and more on his fitness. He wanted to win this race very badly.
One day, while enjoying a well earned rest day on Crete, Triopolis was struck with inspiration. He sent an army of servants north towards the Silk Routes where they where instructed to secure the finest in talc, calamine and fragrance. Upon the servant's return, Triopolis employed the best Greek alchemists to create "a powdery elixer which shall create comfort like a night spent in Delos as the tradewinds blow with an urgent, yet gentle cadence."
This powder worked so well that Triopolis was able to completely focus on his training again, despite the continuing heat. He won the Macedonia Invatational with a course record not bested until the Roman conquest in 149 BC.
With the fall of the Greek Empire, The Mighty Powder Of Tripolis, as it had become known, was long forgotten. But then it was re-discovered. Some say that the alchemist's original notes where found during a renovation of the Parthenon in 1975. Others say that a small crucible of a "curious white powder" mysteriously appeared on the speaker's podium just before the opening ceremony of the 2004 Athens Olympic games.
Regardless of what the truth is behind the redicovery of this ancient remedy, it is now available to you in the form of Anti Monkey Butt Powder. You can now experience "the talc of the ancients", even if you don't wear a fig leaf as a swim skin.
This story is true. It has to be, because Anti Monkey-Butt Powder is that good.