Saturday, August 14, 2010

An open e-mail to Jeff at Dangle The Carrot

Date:  Aug 14, 2010

To:  jeff@danglethecarrot

From:  patrick@theroadmultisport

Re:  What tires are you using?

Hey Jeff,

Hope you are having a good weekend.  I saw your post "It's Kinda Like Fight Club" a few days ago, and I have a couple of comments.  First off, that's some pretty nice mileage so far this year but then again I'm not surprised because you are a triathlon training machine.  Secondly, that's pretty interesting about the flats.

I've ridden, I dunno, 1800 miles this year.  I can think of 7 flats off the top of my head.  That said, it could have been 5, because on two rides I flatted twice because I got lazy about checking the tire and rim for metal shards or whatever had caused the first flat just to puncture again like 20 minutes later. Lame, I know.  By the way, today was one of those days.  Picture below.  This is me (obviously), pissed about the second flat but having enough presence of mind to record the event for posterity's sake.  Plus, I was already drafting this email to you in my head and figured the picture would come in handy.


Don't take this personally, but I'm kinda annoyed that you are not flatting.  Cosmically speaking, there is someone, somewhere on a late night AM talk show about UFOs and other psychic phenomena that would have a pretty good argument that says if you had flatted twice this year, the net result for me would have been adjusted down in kind.

Right now for I'm rolling on Continental Gatorskins which are supposed to be the "Kevlar vests" of bike tires.  Apparently they are not though, huh?  Any advice on what you are riding on would be helpful.  Maybe if we are both using the same tires we can cheat the cosmos together.  Because after all, rule # 4 of Fight Club is two guys to a fight, and you just may be my only hope.

Yours in multisport,

Patrick

19 comments:

The Green Girl said...

LMAO!

misszippy said...

You are on roll this week! Well, maybe not if you're flatting so much.

Jon said...

Doesn't matter what kind of tire you are using if your rim tape is bad or if you have shards inside the rim popping the tubes.

Funny email! So basically there is a predetermined # of flats amongst the community every year and there is some "higher being" distributing them amongst everyone? Its only a matter of time for Jeff! haha!

P said...

Love that pic of you!

Julie said...

This was pretty entertaining:) I can see how annoyed you are in the picture! Hopefully it will be a long time before your bike decides to flat again.

Jennifer said...

Still laughing. I haven't flatted in a long time either, but that's 'cause I am on the bike path all the time, with the exception of a few twigs and an occasional squirrel, not much to run over.

DRog said...

Hahaha
good stuff

This post along with Jeff's have pushed me to youtube to watch a few flat changing video's. I have the tube and co2 but since I bought my bike in January and through this summer have never had a flat yet.

thanks for the push!

-Derek

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Hate to be the one tyo throw cold water on this budding bromance Patrick, but Jeff lives in TX, and you're in CA. These long-distance things just never work.

RockStarTri said...

One time, a long time ago, in a galaxy far away, I got 4 flats on one ride. This epic experience will pale in comparison to Jeff's soon to be karmic adventure.

Jon is right. There is a divine being who doles out flattage. You don't kick the bear, JDTC.

Cynthia O'H said...

Oh, I'm keeping you company on the flats. I seemed to always get them and we just couldn't figure out why. It turned out to be a problem with shards on the rim, which we have pretty much fixed. I still don't like riding alone, though, through fear of flats.

Caratunk Girl said...

OH my god, I can't wait until Jeff reads this and comments. This is hilarious (not you getting the flats, but this post is great). Flats suck. I have had 4 this year, you have me beat (I am sure you are happy about that!)

Anne said...

:) :) Entertaining as usual...good luck keeping the flats away.

ajh said...

Thanks for the advice on running after biking. I tried again today but my heel hurt so I stopped. I guess it is not time to be running yet. So glad I got the bike back out and plan to keep it out through the fall. Now I need to find something to cross train with in the winter. I'll probably get my cross country skis back out which have also been sadly neglected.

Aimee (I Tri To Be Me) said...

Like others have said, this post is hilarious! I love the picture of you with the flat tire...ha ha.

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

RE: What tires are you using?

Patrick,

Yes, I agree the cosmos has somehow been aligned so that the sun has been shinning on my tubes for quite some time. My fear is the streak is going to be snapped during a race.

First, here is my gear: Tires - Bontrager Race Lite 700x23,Hard Case Triple Puncture Protection. Being used on my stock QR Alex 220 Wheels. I also occasionally ride a Zipp 440 Front with a Continental Tubular. Tubes are inflated to around 110psi.

Now as to why have I not flatted in over 2500+ miles? I have no real answer only guesses. I am perplexed and that explains my "Fight Club" post. Up is down and down is left?

Normally a slight like mine (the post) would lead the cycling gods to strategically place glass and metal shards throughout my bike route. They have let this one pass? Two rides since that post and still no flat so it must be something else? Here is my guess ...

I am a bike maintenance freak! At least once a week I clean all my components with degreaser and a toothbrush. I take my wheels and rear cassette off and clean as well. I take my tires off and check the rim tape and I have had to replace the tape once too. I always run my hand and a clean towel up an down each side of the rim and check for irregularities or sharp objects.

Now I showed my wife this post and her guess is that I am just lucky at things like this. She referenced I have similar luck with parking (drives her nuts). We can be at a mall on the Saturday before Xmas and someone will backout of a spot in front every single time leaving it just for me. This irritates her probably the same way the no flat issue irritates you!

So to recap: The best guess is it is a combination of complex planetary alignment, OCD-like bike maintenance, and pure dumb luck!

Sincerely,

Tyler Durden

valen said...

I'd heard stories about people riding over 3000km without flats. Didn't believe they were true.
but now that I've read it in your blog it is surely true. like the Triopolis story.
I tend go have a clean ride from Nov to June and get about half a dozen flats in the winter.

lindsay said...

i'm thinking you bought a spike strip to sabotage jeff with!

Matty O said...

This post is hilarious!

Patrick, I think your comment (or post in this matter) summed up my thoughts on the fight club post of Jeff's hahaha.

As for Jeff's response. I would attribute a few things to his "luck"...
1. He is mega OCD. For someone to degrease every week and replace the rim tape already... yeah, that is OCD.
2. It can be luck... I would like to say he may have some pretty well maintained roads down there too. I have found if you hit pot holes or rutted roads a lot you are more prone to flatting.
3. Rain. Not sure how much rain you get out there Patrick but I remember Jeff complaining on end about all the rain they have been getting. When I rode my motorcycle a lot, we would try and wait to go on our long rides til we get a really good rain in. When it rains good, cleans the roads of of all the glass and shards/rocks you can puncture a tube with.

Just my two cents. There was a guy that flatted 3 times on day two of our long ride this weekend. Dumb luck?

Shannon (IronTexasMommy) said...

You guys are cracking me up!!

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