Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Rant



What a complete sucker I am.  When I realized I was a lard ass and that it was time to do something about it, I began to spend countless hours sweating my butt off putting mile after mile behind me by swimming, biking and running.  And it hasn't been cheap - bikes, running shoes, clothing, race fees, nutrition and the countless other pieces of gear that I have needed (or just wanted) have cost me a small fortune.

If I had only known about the Slim Tee.  For $19.95 I could have had instant gratification and saved thousands of dollars.  Instead of having to do all that work, the Slim Tee would have offered me a license to fake it.  The Slim Tee would have also allowed me to take no real responsibility for my health.  After all, the subtext of this commercial is that there's no shame in doing absolutely nothing to try and change your habits.  Why waste time that can be put to better use by sitting on your ass when a smaller waist size can be achieved in seconds?

As to the other benefits of fitness:

Renewed self esteem? - Not worth the effort.

A real sense of accomplishment? - Overrated.

Good health that may lead to a longer, happier, life for you and loved ones?  - Whatever.  Pass me the cheese fries, (expletive).  Because football season is starting.  And if I've got my fat gut stuffed into a Slim Tee, I'll be able to flirt with the waitress at Chili's (as long as my face isn't stuck in the middle of a plate of nachos when she walks by).

I'm sorry, but I just don't get it.  Actually, I do get it, I just wish it wasn't true.  For me, losing 80 + pounds is way up there on my list of the all-time awesome things I've done, and it was more than worth the fight.  If this product wasn't so pathetic, I'd be offended.  And it's not even the shirt that really bothers me, it's the two minutes of complete BS dialog in the commercial.  Strike when people are desperate and they will fall.  

I read blogs every day written by people who are in the process of losing weight the honest way.  And though we all struggle once in awhile, there is always one thing in common  - no one EVER bitches about the work or complains about how losing weight sucks.  People who are committed to good health tend to be really committed to good health.  And with the commitment comes passion and the desire to help others.  The Slim Tee doesn't come with new friends and a support group, that's for sure.

I'm preaching to the choir, but let's remember that compression garments are to help heal muscles thrashed from exercise and nothing else.

19 comments:

valen said...

good rant!
and completely agree that real changes are lifestyle changes not cosmetic BS,

Kovas Palubinskas said...

If EAP made a Slim T, I'd be all over it. The waitresses at Chili's would dig it too. It's all in the marketing.

Caratunk Girl said...

Love your rants, every dang one.

People (in general) want the easy fix, they don't want to sweat and work hard to accomplish a goal. So we have the slim T, miracle weight loss this and that, and the workout machines that workout for you...are those things still around? You know, people lay on them and the machine moves their body while they read a book and eat chips?? Those bug the crap out of me.

P said...

Well said! I work in the fitness industry and it drives me nuts how many people think fitness should just be handed to them on a plate (with a side of cheese fries, *expletive*).

TRI-james said...

I know several people that continue to eat like sh!t everyday even though they are on all kinds of medication. They honestly say –“ I can eat what I want. That is why I take the pill.”

Disgusting.

KJ said...

I agree totally!!! It amazes me how we, as a society, are constantly inventing things that enable us to just sit back and do as little as possible. I was at Wally Mart the other day and saw, to my horror, that one can now buy a pair of shoes with a built in mop on the sole, so apparently you can clean your floors while walking back and forth from the fridge. REALLY???

I am one who is constantly in a battle with my weight, but even *I* know it ain't comin' off without a lot of hard work on MY part. Yeesh. It makes me sad and angry to think there are actually people in the world who will see that commercial and think their problems are solved. Shame on those who create things like this. They are only adding to the problem.

Awesome rant, Patrick!

Johann said...

Well said! I feel exactly the same. I’m always amazed at how many people actually buy these type of products.

Jeffrey said...

very well said, buddy. it amazes me that there is a market for this...i'm not saying this country has to be full of type A triathletes, but seriously...
On a happier note, the new Runner's World just arrived. Check out the profile of the 16 y.o. that has already competed in 30+ triathlons, has petitioned Congress to make Labor Day a, I'm paraphrasing here, "National Tri for your Health Day," and seems to be more excited about getting kids healthier than setting records. Seriously, if I had been like that as a kid, I wouldn't be "tri'ing" so hard to lose the gut now...where's my slim t, honey?

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

My wife gets so angry everytime the Slim Tee ad comes on. I'd be more appalled a the product if her reaction was son darn funny.

Luke said...

One of the best rant's ever! The work of losing weight does suck sometimes, but it is outweighed by the benefits.

law enforcement catalogs market a similiar shirt that has "muscle mapping technology" It has high compression to hid your gut and different compression that lifts and seperates your pecks.

Luke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emz said...

OMG they played this commerical t the gym [yes, in front of the mills] about a month ago and five [yes, five] people hit stop because they were laughing so hard.

Hilarious.

And

Sad.

TRI714 said...

well this is really no different than diet in a bottle. justified rant !! I dig it.

Big Clyde said...

I would have loved to find a gimmick, but there is no substitute for hard work and good choices.

Also, I bet that thing is horrible on your internal organs!

Christine Jensen said...

LOL...although a little help with this stomach that was stretched by 5 kids would be nice...exercise doesn't seem to want to really get rid of all of that stretched out stuff ;) (I know you wanted to hear that)

Sara said...

Completely agree. I think it is the same with diet pills. Why waste my time when I can pop a pill. Oh wait that's right I can't wait to get out of work and go swim some laps because it is so relaxing and peaceful. Great post thanks!

Aimee (I Tri To Be Me) said...

Love your rant. That product is so ridiculous!

lindsay said...

Unfortunately or society today just wants a quick and easy answer. Work hard? Save money? Pay off debt? Eat healthy? Workout? Too challenging for so many people.

Anyway no I agree. What a ridiculous product. Kind of humorous though, the male version of a corset!

Glenn Jones said...

You're right about this being sad. The only thing that's worse is someone is making bank on people's impatience and desire to do things the easy way. Hmmm. Maybe they deserve it.

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